Not So Hot, Actually

So instead of turning over this new leaf again I am just finding myself feeling guilty and becoming depressed and listless. Stressed out. Frustrated. Which is never good. I tried to start journaling again today and just couldn't be honest with myself with what I was really eating. I wanted so badly to stay under my WW points and I was close to being done by mid afternoon! Doing lunch at the Timber Lodge was not the smartest idea, but I was meeting up with family for lunch and honestly, there isn't really a healthy sit-down restaurant anywhere. What I had wasn't too horrible, but it is still frustrating. I've been giving in to my cravings to much lately as well. I had four string cheese sticks this afternoon. Never good.

Right now I am craving something sugary, and I know that I have a bag of brownie mix in my pantry. And it wouldn't take me very long to make it. I've already had two sugar free popsicles (1 point each) to placate this sugar craving, and it is not working. I'm thinking my best option is just to go to bed. Maybe this is the wrong time of night to try to be motivating myself.

My mom found a gray hair on my head today! A freaking LONG gray hair! Not gray... white. I don't know if it's because the women in my family tend to gray early (I'm 22, Grandma said she had her first gray by 25) or if it is stress. I wish I knew... if it's stress I could try to fix it. If it's that I'm getting older... well, that sucks. I have a feeling it is stress, because it seems like it just popped up over night. That can happen, right? Eh. I'll have to look it up. Either way, I don't want it yet. It could wait another couple of years. Can I at least have a kid first before I start earning my gray hair?

I think I'm going to bed and leave the rest of my thoughts to another post. I need to start writing everyday again. Maybe that will provide me with more inspiration. Hopefully.