Pulling it Back Together

I think I've reached a point where I need to stop using being sick as an excuse and start to pull my life back together again. I am better, and my voice is coming back, and I can do ever day tasks. So there should be no excuse for me not cleaning my apartment, especially my dishes, no excuse for not having sent my rent yet, for just paying off my utilities last night, all that junk. And, well... it's really not just this past week, is it? I need to pull myself together in general and be an adult. I keep complaining to my dad that I am 22 and he needs to treat me like I am adult and not a toddler... but I sure don't act like it sometimes! This does tie in to my weight loss, so bear with me. What I am getting at is that I DO have the willpower and I DO have the ambition, but I am far too lazy most of the time. I can do this stuff. It's not that hard. I wonder what it is that makes me not want to do it. Where did I ever pick up this habit? It is not at all something that should have come from my family... immediate and extended, they are the hardest working people on the face of the planet! I just need a serious kick in the ass. And possibly a talk with a psychiatrist to really figure it out. Because this is ridiculous, and I have reached a point in my life that I absolutely need to be driven to succeed, or I will never go anywhere.

So, I need to stay on top of myself. This is my goal for the week. I need to behave like a responsible adult. I will not allow myself to live like this any longer! And if I can just get started and do it seriously, I think I can hang on to that and keep doing it. So, I will go to bed and get up at a normal time, I will eat all the meals I am supposed to, I will clean like I am supposed to, I will exercise like I supposed to... I will do it all this week! It will keep me busy, but I believe I can and this little "pep talk" is making me excited!!

In other news, my weight went up to 350.4 now that I am eating again, but that is still much better than it was. I now have the proper cord for my iPod (whom I have renamed Dieter, pronounced dee-ter... the thing looks German to me), and have uploaded MY music. I love it sooo much more now. Not that Jordan's music was bad, but I needed my Beatle and Bob Dylan fix badly. Yesterday I uploaded my workout playlist, which I am still building. I am happy with how it is now though. Definitely upbeat, and once it stops being so cold (it's April! C'mon!) I will certainly use it while on walks. I think it will help me kick up my pace. I also intend on starting to use the exercise plan provided to me by SparkPeople, which would be accomplished more easily if my living room was clean. I am going to be rearranging my furniture if I can get a brawny family member over here, and I hope that will open things up a little bit more so I can maybe even use my Dancing with the Stars workout tape. That takes up a lot of room.

So many plans! I hope this streak keeps going! But for now, I need to shower and head to bed so I can work in the morning. I can't wait for morning. =)